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A friend sent an exercise intended to discover your true life's purpose.
- Get a piece of paper and write 'A purposeful life includes (you fill in the blank)'
- On the next line, write 'A purposeful life includes ( another thought or action)'
- Continue in this manner
- Instructions suggested writing until you cried, and your mission would become clear.
After several pages and no tears, I gave up on the exercise. I later decided that living a purposeful life might be more important to me than knowing my true life's purpose, since that didn't seem available at this time anyway.
For me, living a purposeful life includes a clear understanding of priorities, which changes regularly of course. With so much demanding our time and attention- community, our spiritual quest, career, family, financial necessities, and our health- it is critical to spend our time and energy wisely. All teachers and sages suggest a regular time each day of setting priorities, seeking clarity, and reviewing intentions.
Architect Sarah Susanka, author of The Not So Big House has written another book, The Not So Big Life: Making Room For What Really Matters. She writes "The real living is being there completely in whatever we're doing..", which is difficult to do if we are torn in many directions with unclear priorities.
Clarity is a precious thing, and however we can manage that in our busy lives, it's worth the effort. This seems to be yet one more instance where age and experience is a blessing. It's more clear now than when I was in my 20s and 30s where my energy is best directed, how to gracefully say no to a distraction I don't need, and why to be spontaneous. But that is less about age than about the practices I've adopted that require an effortful focus on my values, my priorities, and my spirit.
Thanks to my friend Tawni for sending me the following:
Love Only You
Love only you.
Take all the love you want to give to
others, and share it with yourself.
There is no need or purpose to try
and love anybody else.
When you truly love yourself, you will inevitably
resonate love for everyone and everything.
Love cannot be bounded as a gift and then given.
Rather, love is limitless freedom and can only be
expressed, and this sole expression comes from
you loving you.
from The Resting Sage (2006)
by Chad Christopher Cobb
Integrity seems to be a concept that we humans need to reassess and examine on a fairly regular basis to determine if we are truly functioning within our boundaries and those established by our community. But as we strive for a life of inner peace, we need to shine the bright light of introspection on the following questions:
*Does this decision enable my highest potential?
*Is this my best I have to offer?
*Am I giving 100% and if not, why?
*Are my actions in keeping with my values?
*Will I be proud of my conduct tomorrow, next week, next year?
*What are my other options in this situation?
*Would I be proud of my children if they reacted this way? (personal favorite)
These questions are worth examining. Otherwise we are left with the fall out of our bad decisions, viewed from near and far as those we don't want to claim. To truly take responsibility for our behavior, the filter needs to do a good job of considering all sides of an issue. We are then able to act rather than react.
Mistakes are bound to happen, life is filled with inevitable pain, and hearts will be broken. But we can prepare ourselves with an introspection practice that supports our values, and a lifestyle that honors our worth.
Growth is incremental for us all. Teachers are everywhere. The willingness to hear the lessons is all we need in order to follow the enlightened path.
I rise each morning before dawn, prepare a cup of tea, and sit on my meditation cushion. Whatever happens after that is inconsequential. I've made the most important decision of the day. Or should I say, I avoided giving myself the choice of not showing up.
Discipline- an activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill...this is almost a foreign concept in our world today, yet we have these expectations of ourselves that we will regularly __, ___, and ___ (you fill in the blanks). But disciplining ourselves to exercise regularly, or eat properly, or take time for ourselves, etc, refers to imposing our will, and if you're commitment is weak, you can expect yourself to fall below your expectations.
For years, I have been trying to change habituated patterns that don't serve me well. For awhile, it seemed like every time I opened a book, a magazine, put in a CD, or heard a wise speaker, the subject of will came up. It was spooky!! Finally I realized that this was a lesson I needed to learn...DUH. And even though my training as a dancer has served me very well in committing to daily rituals and routines, making the best choice in every situation remains a challenge.
The will is like any muscle apparently, and needs to be exercised on a regular basis. This is how it becomes strong and serves you. Ironically, discipline seems to require eliminating the choice and just doing.
It's springtime in Minnesota, and it seems there's no better time to witness the abundance around us. The sage wisdom outside my haven inspires all that I write here, and due credit is given. And all of the other teachers in my life, too many to mention, are with me here today and every day. I give reverence to the Divine teacher, the saints and healers that guide me, and the pure and holy teachings themselves.
I have disciplined myself to begin each day with meditation, prayer, reflection, and gratitude...except when I don't. Often I am distracted and ungrounded and simply go through the motions, knowing that it's better than doing nothing at all. At several periods in my life, I have felt my tools are not serving me as well as they could, but I never question the methods. I realize it's the practitioner and not the practice itself.
I am off to spend some time with my 15 yr old daughter, my truest test of patience and love. Someday, when I am old and crabby, our roles will be reversed.
