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Impermanence..along with suffering and ego, are said to be the three truths of our existence. And although I often pay lip service to the understanding that the only constant in life is change, living this reality has never been easy.
I'm in the process of sending my second child off to college. After experiencing this difficulty once before, I thought this time might be a bit easier. But as the graduation looms, and the celebrations are arranged, I find myself, once again, caught in the grips of suffering.
For many years now, my son and his many friends have tracked mud, garbage, and other questionable items into my house. They have awakened my sleep, disrupted my peace, and consumed large quantities of my food, patience, and time. My home has been the gathering place for dozens of these kids, their parties, and activities- sanctioned and otherwise. Yet in spite of all of this, I am faced with overwhelming sadness that they will be leaving me as they begin life on their own.
My son is practical and strong. Aside from being a natural leader and scholar, he is gracious and kind. I am immensely proud of his accomplishments and know the future holds fine things for him. His friends, my many other boys, have bright futures as well. I hope to be strong through the coming weeks as I share their joy and relief.
I know this is part of the sacredness of life. I have prepared many years for this. Each right of passage and birthday celebration honors the process that has brought us to this place. But it is the fear of their absence and the anticipated silencing of their laughter that weakens my resolve right now. And as they scatter about the world in their journey to become adults, they will leave behind only the memories of the brief moment in time that I shared with them.
I went dancing with a friend a few weeks ago, and was surprised at one point during the evening when the lead singer announced a song he'd written about his desire to help change the world. Listening to his music in that dank, dark bar, I was struck by how many of us have these altruistic thoughts. It was one of those moments where it was impossible to deny that we are all cut from the same cloth.
My musings soon wandered to how this rock and roller would accomplish this task, and then to my own process around the subject. Do we really believe we will do this single-handedly? Certainly there are instances of great minds who have developed ideas and activities that lead to the dynamic and successful betterment of our world community. But for the majority of us, it may be something altogether different.
Some information that has altered the course of my life includes the rather enormous idea of 'reaching our highest potential'. After years of struggling to discover what that one, singular event or series of actions would look like, I stumbled across a profoundly insightful piece of writing. It suggested that our highest potential was not a single event, but rather each and every decision we make on a daily basis. The places we shop, the consumables we purchase, and the manner we invest our time, energy and resources, all contribute to the impact we have on society. Ultimately, this may be our largest opportunity in this lifetime to affect change.
So now the idea of 'reaching my highest potential' has been reduced to a size that I can now not only understand, but can feel relatively successful at. Though this hardly means that I make flawless decisions or that mistakes haven't been made, I can begin each day with the intent and the knowledge that I am doing my part. All of our small, seemingly insignificant actions do add up to progress in shaping the world we live in. And when I question whether the world isn't perfect exactly the way it is as designed by some far superior power, I realize, again, that I am ultimately servicing the evolution of consciousness.
Consider it a privilege to be living this day. And you'll connect yourself to this day's most valuable and positive possibilities.
- When there is something that must be done, consider yourself privileged to be in a position to do it. Then step forward and make it happen with a thankful heart.
- If a difficult obstacle blocks your efforts, consider yourself privileged to be able to work through it. It is an opportunity for you to grow stronger and more experienced.
- Whatever life may send your way, consider yourself privileged to be living it. For that is an attitude that will surely enable you to get the most out of every moment.
- Consider it a privilege, and your eyes will be opened to the best opportunities. Your thoughts and actions will be focused on creating real, meaningful value.
- Consider it a privilege to be right where you are, doing precisely what you're doing. And you'll find opportunities for true fulfillment in every direction.
thank you Ralph Marston
http://greatday.com/motivate/index.html
I've always had problems with opportunists. I've known this all my life. Situations where one person is taking advantage of another jangle my nerves in inexplicable ways and cause me a great deal of stress. Strangely, I've wondered if, in another incarnation, I wasn't oppressed myself, and the sensitivity is due to that. But for whatever reason, I really struggle with holding my tongue when I suspect a friend is being mistreated. And sadly, I find myself in a place where I lose respect for the victim as well, I assume because I expect them to see the world the same way I do. Questions:
- Isn't everyone is doing the best they can with the skills they have?
- Aren't I attached to an outcome here and need to let go of?
- More importantly, it's not my business and I should stay out of it?
- Isn't my judgment is as unskillful as that of the opportunist
- Am I guilty myself of victimizing?
- Is my ego trying to challenge that of the offender?
They say awareness is the first step toward enlightenment, but I can tell you, I hardly feel superior when a friend leaves me, walking toward the lion, knowing it's not my battle. I seldom change any one's mind, of course, and their plan of action, or inaction, sends me to this place of frustration and anger.
If all situations are indeed neutral, and our perception of them as either 'good' or 'bad' categorizes or paints the picture, why can't I surrender to this more easily? After all, I don't know the experiences that will shape the destiny of another. I'm not the choreographer in this scene, I am simply the audience. This is a lesson I'd like to move beyond because I'm allowing the opportunist to strike twice.
It occurs to me that the navigation of this complex life and the promise of serenity if I truly succeed is not a matter of "simplifying my life", as I read so often. I suppose I could say "no" more often, leave my woods and home and downsize to a condo, sell most of my earthly belongings, and even be happy spending the majority of each day in meditation.
But growth conjures up the idea of increasing, not decreasing. It seems my process is more about becoming a larger personality...one that can encompass the sizable responsibility I've willingly taken on in my life..one that accepts the uncertainty of my future...and one that embraces the risks presented to me as opportunity. And although the word fearless comes to mind as a necessary ingredient for this mission and I know it's appropriate, surrender may be the spiritual concept I'm trying to come to terms with here.
....when you die, the person you actually were in life meets the person you could have been in life?
Thanks to my friend Joy for sharing this gem.
By far, the singular question everyone asks the dancer is "How Can I lose some weight?" So this series of questions and answers that I'm often asked will start here.
The human body is an amazing machine and you can't possibly not believe in a Divine force if you understand the mechanics even a little bit. And scrambled into the human condition of body, mind, spirit marches the ego and it's all powerful wants and needs. All of us know that weight is simply calories in and calories out and that no weight loss occurs unless we expend more energy than we consume. So we are left with the simple challenge of changing our habits since, obviously, if you're asking the question, your equation isn't working for you.
I'm unable to tell you what you are willing change. Only you can do that. But any one of the following will work-FYI. In other words, do one of these consistently and you will lose weight!
- Will it be different eating habits?
- Will it be a different fitness routine?
- Will you give up driving and walk, bike, or run everywhere?
- Will you stop eating dairy products?
- Will you stop eating meat?
- Will you stop eating processed foods?
- Will you vow to not eat after 7:30pm every night?
- Will you give up alchohol?
- Do you have other areas of your life where you're disciplined?
- Can you develop disciplined behavior?
- How badly do you want it?
- Are you willing to devote time to it?
Professional ancers are considered some of the world's finest athletes. Physical endurance training six day a week all day year round necessitates learning about the body, specifically your body. Everyone is wired differently but we know what we want and what we don't want. Or do we? The discipline required to study an art form is unique in this culture but anyone can master their own mind but not without effort.
- First develop a plan (or follow someone elses)
- Find a buddy, a partner, or supportive confidant to hold you accountable
- Follow the plan
- Achieve results
So we see the process is simple to understand, uncomplicated to devise, BUT (there's alway a but, and yes, you will always have a butt) discipline is the magic element. If I told you this bottle of 500 pills I'm giving you would drop the pounds, you'd take the pills consistently, wouldn't you? And hopefully you've disciplined yourself to brush your teeth each night before bed. So yes- if you want it bad enough, you'll do it. Otherwise, accept yourself the way you are and stop whining.
According to Maya Angelou, speaking at the Greenville, South Carolina Peace Center in April, 2007...
"Without courage, you can't practice the other virtues".
