Friday, November 2, 2007
All things For Love
Lying awake early this morning, I realized that I was struggling with the decision of whether or not to speak my truth about the love I felt for my partner. This internal tug-of-war has been going on for months now, and it wasn't until today that I realized how absurd it was. How could it be wrong to express heartfelt love to anyone in this cold and uncaring world? While it could be argued that there are times when it is impossible to speak your truth for the sake of others (even though I have made myself sick over this habitual gagging), I realized in this case that it is my past relationships that had instilled this fear in me. But the thought of me or him leaving this incarnation without my declaration of love to this person, whether or not it is reciprocated, prompted me forward. And at the same time, I was able to forgive myself for my past mistakes in love. I decided that any action motivated by the heart should never be unforgivable. It just seemed so clear to me in this morning's first light.
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4 comments:
Your post on June 9th...?
"The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes."
Pema Chodron
When Things Fall Apart
Your post on June 9th...?
"The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes."
Pema Chodron
When Things Fall Apart
And so the lessons just continue to weave through our lives. I appreciate that you have reminded me once again of of the wise words of Pema Chodron. And I am the first to admit that I am often not brave. In fact, my meditation was born of the need to comfort my panic. At least the desire to be honest has come easy. Thank you Annonymous.
Abundant Sage,
Where in the world did you ever come up with the notion that you are often not brave? How did you allow that seed to take root in your psyche?
One who is "not often brave" does not leave home early in life and move to another state to pursue their' passion. One who is "not often brave" does not move to another part of the county, away from their' family to continue to pursue their passion. One who is "not often brave" does not request their' partner (life and business) to leave when it has become apparent that they have already left emotionally.
You are a very brave person, one who has dared to make choices that others have not or could not.
Not only are you surviving, but you are thriving.
Was it meditation born of the need to comfort your panic or to tap into that inner reservoir of strength you have?
It is my belief that meditation helps us to let go of our attachments and accept what is, not to comfort our panic.
Your welcome.
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